By Lauren Aldridge

“Life is too important to be taken seriously” -Oscar Wilde

I was born to be 30.

Peace, bills paid, thirst quenched, sweet sweat and occasional lower back pain, candles on a Friday night instead of club lights, learning to roast a chicken, learning what a chickpea is, home décor (pillows cost HOW MUCH?), and building a life I chose rather than one that is happening to me. Time is only just beginning, instead of running out. Deep inhales, and even longer exhales.

Maybe this whole “life” thing doesn’t have to be so hard after all.

If you happened to read what I would now consider part one of this series, “Things I Learned in my Twenties” (or if you’d like to check it out here), you will have probably gathered that my twenties were- how can I say? Not the most stable time. In the sense that you could say Britney Spears went through “a little bit of a rough patch” when she shaved her head in 2007.

My twenties were a rickety roller coaster on tall spindly stilts. The colors were unimaginably bright, and the hangovers hurt like hell. Disorientation and short-term living ruled the day. But man- I squeezed every single drop there was from that decade. I was fully present, even when that meant sometimes white-knuckling and gritting my teeth. There is no part of the last 10 years that I look back on with regret, because even when I was skimming by on $12/ hour and riding the bus, I knew it was exactly where I was meant to be- not stuck in a cubicle somewhere.

I made it to 30 purely by luck and the skin of my teeth, but hey- audentes fortuna iuvat. Fortune favors the bold (and occasionally stupid- I don’t know how to say that in Latin).

On my fridge as I write this, there are magnets and photographs and memorabilia I have collected over the last 10+ years. National parks, countries around the world, and people who will always be my forever home. Each of these symbols represent lessons learned, priceless memories, and loving hard. It is a colorful kaleidoscope of one small segment that is the tapestry of my sweet little life I have built.

Despite all my mistakes, missteps, and literal “WTF” moments, I have emerged relatively unscathed from my twenties with a sense of composure and, I would like to imagine, a little more wisdom at 31 than I had at 21.

Now, instead of beer and pizza Lunchables in my refrigerator, I have hummus and several non-dairy options of milk (the Caucasian calling card). I pay my bills on time, instead of with my credit card. I wake up with the sun, instead of at noon. I feel present, but in a much more bearable way.

Being 31 feels like standing on a ridgeline in hiking boots and carrying a backpack of supplies, having ascended the first part of the hike in flip flops, dragging 3 other people uphill with me and nobody having any water.

The hike is still difficult- but I am ready. I am better equipped for the challenge. I wipe the sweat from my brow.

It has been such a joy to look back and reflect on my short life thus far- despite only being one year into this new decade, I decided I didn’t want to wait another 9 years to do this again. I wasn’t done. I was just getting started.

As my life continues (God willing!) throughout the upcoming years, I would like to continue to reflect and publish my thoughts in aging from my little corner of the Earth. In my twenties essay, I refer to them as “a chronologic archeological dig”. I still lovingly think of them as such.

These thoughts are mine alone to publish, but they were given to me by everyone I have ever known, loved, cared for, or been hurt by. Therefore, I can hardly take credit for most of these findings, aside from being the one to simply organize them in one place.

As with my first essay, take what resonates with you and leave the rest. This is not an advice column or a lecture- we all learn things in our own time, in our own way. This is simply what has stuck with me so far. I hope you enjoy.

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New Lessons in 30 (so far):

1. Everything floats downstream.
2. Age is a gift. So is botox.
3. The best apology is changed behavior.
4. Learn to love the thing that you most wish had not happened. We cannot pick and choose which parts of life to be grateful for.
5. Don’t check a bag at the airport.
6. When material items no longer pay your rent, that is true freedom.
7. It’s only a risk if you might lose.
8. Live to remember, not to forget.
9. Always bring an extra pair of socks/ underwear.
10. No one can live up to the pedestal we put them on if we always put them up there.
11. Humility is the greatest currency. Followed by humor.
12. Curiosity is the antidote to judgment.
13. Have your own back. No one else will do it for you.
14. Never make decisions out of panic. When we panic in survival situations, we die.
15. Please check how many subscriptions you are accidentally paying for.
16. All choices come from either fear or love. Decide carefully.
17. Lift weights. Your body (and booty) will thank you.
18. Take the high road. It will pay off later.
19. Do not ask permission.
20. People don’t change unless they are ready to.
21. Seek the truth, no matter how much it burns. It doesn’t matter the messenger.
22. Passive actions lead to passive results.
23. If you wish for patience, God will test it.
24. It’s okay if all you did today was survive. But try and remember to live too.
25. Hardship reveals itself as good fortune with time.
26. Becoming what you love will require doing some things you hate.
27. Your relationships reflect the state of your beliefs.
28. If you do what everybody else does, you get what everybody else has.
29. It’s hard to pivot if you are rigid.
30. Love is an instinct. Fear is conditioned.
31. If you don’t ask for it, you won’t get it.

Stay tuned- I’ve still got a lifetime of learning ahead.

Thanks so much for reading!